Umineko Blows

Author: nova

It’s that time again kids!

Umineko no Naku Koro ni is a shitty show and I will tell you why. I was going to spend this afternoon playing EVE and writing up a serious, analytical post but unfortunately the rage took over.

Let’s leave aside the fact that Umineko looks pretty terrible. Sure the animation is quite poor and background art is sufficient at best, but Higurashi anime was hardly any better in this regard and it still rocked. It’s just that this level of quality happens to extend to everything in Umineko. Seriously, have you felt thrilled and captivated by the atmosphere even once after the first episode? Because I sure haven’t. I only found myself desperately waiting for something that would be it, the starting point to awesome, but it just never happened. It’s like watching a porn film that never actually shows anything but foreplay. On fast forward. Because things in Umineko happen without giving the viewer any time to keep up. People are killed off before I could even remember their names, then magically come back to life and witches appear and the main lead decides to prove the witch that she doesn’t exist right to her face and…wait, what?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. There’s only one single word that came to my mind when watching Umineko and it’s this:

Hello there, my Umineko-face.

In short everything about Umineko sucks. The directing blows, the pacing is god-awful, artistry is terrible and for once Hocchan doesn’t seem to match her role at all. This show is terrible and nobody should watch it. I could say that at least Juuden-chan is worse but that’s not really true, because at least Juuden-chan isn’t trying to be anything else. I have concluded.

P.S. And before you bother me with the usual “HUR DUR BUT NOBA YOU SHOULD PALY THEM GAMES COS THEYRE TOTALLY AWSOM“, no, I will not play the fucking games. Let me remind you that this post is entirely and solely about the anime. I don’t know about the games and I don’t care to know. A TV-anime needs to stand on its own and if it does not, it’s fucking horse shit and a waste of time regardless of how awesome shit it’s adapted from. Get the hell out of my sight. Oh yeah, and since it was requested…

P.P.S. Not very surprisingly this post was linked on a very sad place. Check it out, these guys are pretty hilarious! I remember the time them saying whoever doesn’t like Index is a narutard. Good times.