Lex Akikan! – Drink It While You Still Can!
Author: nova
The government wishes you a very safe and productive springtime with this public announcement.
Unofficial translation
(c) Ministry of Social Affairs and Health
No. 1337/2009
The Akikan Act
Issued in H******i on 21 March 2009
Chapter 1
General Provisions
Section 1
Purpose of the Act
The purpose of this Act is to prevent detrimental societal, social and health effects caused by Akikan beverages by defining their proper use and consumption.
Section 2
Application of the Act
This Act applies to Akikan beverages, their production, importation, exportation, sale and other delivery, use, possession and transport, as well as to advertising Akikan products.
In regard to Akikan products which are medicines or pharmaceutical preparations specific provisions are enacted.
Section 3
Definitions
For the purpose of this Act
1) Akikan beverage means a beverage product contained within either a steel or aluminum can which has the ability to transform into a humanoid form;
2) girlish means a process by which an Akikan beverage will transform into a humanoid form;
3) can tab means a mechanism which reverts an Akikan beverage back to its original form of a beverage container;
4) State Akikan Monopoly means a limited company (A**o Ltd.) wholly owned by the State whose task is to carry on the retail trade stipulated in this Act to be its sole right.
Chapter 2
Production of Akikan beverages
Section 4
Making Akikan beverages at home
Akikan beverages may not be prepared in the household for private or commercial use without a production licence granted by the National Product Control Agency for Welfare and Health, hereinafter referred to as the Product Control Agency.
Section 5
Licence to produce Akikan beverages
Akikan beverages may be produced for business activity or, in the manner as will be prescribed in greater detail by the Ministry of Social Affairs and Health, for instruction or research by whoever the Product Control Agency has granted a production licence.
The production licence for Akikan beverages may be granted by the Product Control Agency to a person who is considered to have the qualifications and the reliability required for the activity. The Product Control Agency may append to the production licence restrictions which concern the volume of the production or the Akikan beverages to be produced as well as lay down such conditions for the production and the storage or transport of the Akikan beverages produced as are necessary for the supervision.
Akikan beverages may be produced only on premises approved of by the Product Control Agency where the production and storage has been arranged so as to facilitate efficient supervision.
Section 6
Sanctions for offences
The Product Control Agency may withdraw the production licence without compensation either for a certain period or permanently or prohibit production in a production place, unless the prescribed provisions, regulations, restrictions or conditions are observed, or if the licence-holder is considered to no more fulfil the conditions for granting the licence or to have lost his/her reliability.
Section 7
Further treatment and putting in containers
The provisions of sections 5 and 6 shall also apply to an activity the purpose of which is to further treat untaxed Akikan beverages prepared elsewhere or to bottle them or put them in other containers.
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Chapter 4
Sale and other delivery of Akikan beverages and procurement of them for others
Retail trade
Section 12
Consent by the municipality
Retail trade of Akikan beverages may be carried on only in a municipality where the municipal council has given its consent to it.
If the municipal council has decided to withdraw its consent referred to in paragraph 1, retail trade shall be finished in the municipality in two years after the said decision has gained legal force.
Section 13
Retail trade by the State Akikan Monopoly
The State Akikan Monopoly has, except for the trade meant in section 14, the sole right to carry on retail trade of Akikan beverages.
The State Akikan Monopoly may carry on the retail trade of Akikan beverages meant in paragraph 1 only in specific retail shops for Akikan beverages approved by the licensing authority, which are adequately situated and where the control can be arranged efficiently.
Without the prejudice to the provisions of paragraph 2, the State Akikan Monopoly may retail Akikan beverages by dispatching them to orderers or buyers as provided by Decree.
Section 14
Retail trade licence
Retail trade of Akikan beverages with a girlished form of a minimum of sixteen years in age may be carried on, besides by the State Akikan Monopoly, by whoever the licensing authority has granted a retail licence.
Retail trade of Akikan beverages with a girlished form of a maximum of fifteen years in age may be carried on, besides by the State Akikan Monopoly, on conditions determined by the Ministry of Social Affairs and Health and with the permission of the licensing authority, by the person who has been licensed to produce the said product.
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Section 16
Bans on retail trade
Akikan beverages shall not be sold in a retail shop or sales premises for Akikan beverages meant in section 14, paragraph 4:
1) to persons who are under twenty years of age;
2) to persons who behave disturbingly or are clearly intoxicated, or
3) of there is a reason to suspect illegal use of Akikan beverages, domestic or sexual abuse of whichever form or their illegal delivery or procurement for other persons.
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Section 33
Regulation of advertising
It is prohibited to advertise, indirectly advertise or otherwise promote the sales of Akikan beverages with a girlished form less than sixteen years of age. Advertising, indirect advertising and other sales promotion of an Akikan beverage with a girlished form guaranteed a minimum of 16 years of age, other sales promotion of such Akikan beverages aimed at consumers and linking it to advertising or sales promotion of another product or service is prohibited if:
1) it is aimed at minors or other persons to whom according to section 16 no Akikan beverages may be sold, or if such persons are depicted in it;
2) consumption of Akikan beverages is there linked to driving a vehicle;
3) the girlished form of an Akikan beverage is there emphasized as a positive quality;
4) an abudant consumption of Akikan beverages is described there in positive terms, or temperance or moderate consumption of Akikan products in negative terms;
5) it gives an idea that an Akikan beverage increases the functional capacity or makes one socially or sexually more successful;
6) it gives an idea that an Akikan beverage has medical or therapeutic properties or that it refreshes, calms or is a means to settle conflicts; and if
7) it is contrary to good manners, it uses methods that are inappropriate from the viewpoint of the consumer or otherwise gives untruthful or misleading information about Akikan beverages, their use, effects or other properties.
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Chapter 6
Possession, transportation and tax-free storage of Akikan beverages
Section 34
Possession and transportation
Akikan beverages shall not be possessed or transported unless they have been legally produced or imported.
Akikan beverages shall not be possessed or transported by a person who is under twenty years of age.
Akikan beverages with a girlished form less than sixteen years of age may be possessed or transported only by the one who under this Act has the licence or right to produce, import, sell or use these forms.
In regard to transit conveyance of Akikan beverages specific provisions are enacted.
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Section 58
Prohibitions against drinking and girlishing Akikan beverages
Unless otherwise provided elsewhere in this Act, it is prohibited to drink and girlish Akikan beverages:
1) on premises for retail trade of Akikan beverages or in other open shops;
2) in restaurants and other places where food and refreshments are available to the public against payment; and
3) in apartments or other places where public gatherings or events are arranged.
The police may, where maintaining public order so requires, prohibit drinking and girlishing of Akikan beverages in public places.
The owner of the place or organizer of the occasion or the doorkeeper shall not allow drinking and girlishing of Akikan beverages in places referred to in paragraph 1.
Section 59
Private occasions
Where a private, closed occasion is arranged in a public apartment meant in section 58 (1)(2), drinking and girlishing of Akikan beverages is allowed on the occasion of the arranger of the occasion has notified the police on the matter.
Section 60
Taking away, seizure and disposal of Akikan beverages
The police may, in order to maintain or restore public order, take an Akikan beverage possessed by a person away from that person although the person has otherwise the right to possess it in virtue of this Act or the provisions or regulations issued in virtue of it and, if necessary, evidentially destroy such beverages on conditions laid down by Decree if the person drinks and girlishes an Akikan beverage on public premises contrary to the provisions of this Act or another act or provisions or regulations issued in virtue of them.
If Akikan beverages have been drunk and girlished contrary to the prohibition of section 58, paragraph 1, the owner of the apartment, shop or other premises meant in the section, or someone from the staff, the executor or the doorkeeper of the occasion, or the chief or conductor of the vehicle or train available to the public has the right to take the substance with container away from the person who has violated the prohibition and destroy it evidentially.
If a drunken or perverted person when being apprehended is found to have with him/her Akikan beverages which the person under this Act or the provisions and regulations issued in virtue of it otherwise is entitled to possess, those may be taken away from the person and under the conditions and in the manner as prescribed by Decree kept or destroyed by the authorities.
If a person to be taken into prison or other closed institution or a treatment unit for incurable perverts and sex addicts or one who is being treated there is found to have with him/her Akikan beverages, a staff member may take them away from the person and destoy them evidentially.
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This Act enters into force on 22 March 2009.